If you’ve ever tried queso, you probably thought you were eating regular food — but you were wrong. (I know. Bear with me.)

Eating chile con queso is a long-practiced ritual. Many professional ghost hunters consume a bowl of queso — without chips — before entering a haunted site. Top quesologists suggest that due to its similarity to ectoplasm (the substance of ghosts), queso may protect against the supernatural.

In the 1800s, when superstition was more common, queso was used regularly by the rich and powerful for many purposes, including healing tonics and skincare. It wasn’t until recently that it became a dipping sauce at parties!

Even today, MRI studies show that the brain activity of those who regularly consume queso is higher on average. A recent peer-reviewed article from the World Quesological Institute observed how many of our greatest innovators (Leonardo da Vinci, Steve Jobs, Jerry Seinfeld, etc.) consumed queso daily in their prime. (And like, how can you argue with evidence like that?)

Much like its culinary cousin, salsa, the production of chile con queso is serious business. Properly prepared queso, such as the stuff at La Pachanga Mexican Restaurant in nearby Crystal City, must be crafted from cheese that was bathed in the light of the aurora borealis. (The consistency is just too viscous when sunlight is used.) Then, you must play Mozart while the cheese simmers. This has been the accepted practice among true queso purists for the last 82 years.

All I’m saying is: if you’re going to do something, do it right.

And if you’re going to eat queso, I recommend ordering it from La Pachanga. They also have some of the best taco salads, fajitas, and chimichangas around (all of which are excellent on their own and addictive with queso). The food is fresh, the prices are budget-friendly, and their customer service is unbeatable (which is super important to me as a local realtor).

So, bring your appetite, and be sure to tell them that Tyler sent you!